Not Even If I Tried
by I've-Gotta-Be-Me
Summary: Finchel scene in the library. Rachel needs answers to questions only Finn can answer. Does he want her back in his life? Does he want in for the long haul? And, more importantly, will she get what she wants?


_A Finchel fic inspired by last night's season finale! I didn't do much to change it, I just embellished it a bit. :3_

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><p>Rachel walked slowly down the rows and rows of shelves in the library, pausing to look both ways down each aisle. She'd asked Puck if he'd seen Finn and had finally gotten the truth out of him; Apparently, Finn was holed up in the library during lunch and refusing to talk to anyone. At the last possible row of books, she glanced quickly to her right and saw Finn sitting on the floor.<p>

"Where have you been?" she asked as soon as she spotted him, padding softly over to where he was sitting.

He looked up at her before turning his attention to something he was turning over in his hands – a snow globe.

"Hiding out," he admitted, "Everyone hates me."

Rachel shook her head, "No, they don't. And that doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we've been back."

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><p>She remembered the torturous plane ride home and how no one would even say a word. She'd sat next to Finn, hoping they might have a private conversation about whatever was – or wasn't – happening between them. But she'd had no such luck because the tension surrounding their group was so thick it was practically tangible. The result was what had to be the most awkward flight back to Ohio probably in the history of the entire airline.<p>

Then she'd gotten home and filled her dads in on all the drama before going straight up to her room and flopping facedown on her bed. She'd tried unpacking, but she couldn't keep her eyes from straying to her phone every few seconds and where it was sitting on her nightstand. She kept hoping that the screen would light up just once with the word "Finn" on it. As she hung up her clothes in her closet, she even imagined that she heard the vibration of a new message coming through. But every time she checked, her phone remained blank. She even fell asleep looking at that phone.

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><p>She needed answers, even if they weren't the answers she was hoping for. So she gritted her teeth as she waited for Finn's response. He gave out a sigh of exasperation.<p>

"You should be more pissed at me than anyone else," he said, slight frustration to his voice, "I screwed up. I'm humiliated!" He ran his hands through his hair as he glared down at his own feet, cursing himself. "And we worked so hard for everything and I was supposed to be this big-shot leader holding everyone together and…I blew it." He furrowed his eyebrows angrily, "Cost us the championship."

Rachel gave him a small smile of encouragement as she lowered herself down onto the open spot next to Finn.

"Look, being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequence."

She couldn't help but think back to being on that stage in New York at Nationals and singing with Finn, connecting with him like never before. She remembered singing that last note of their duet together and gazing into his eyes. Before she'd knew it, he was closing the gap between them and kissing her in front of the entire audience. She needed to know if that was just an in-the-moment kiss or if he really meant it. He'd told her in New York that he loved her, but he still hadn't made any moves.

She took a shaky breath and asked quietly, "What were you feeling in that moment?"

Her stomach clenched in anticipation of his answer. What if he said that he was unsure of his feelings? What if she was just jumping the gun and he'd rethought his position? But the question was out there and she bit her lip as she searched his eyes, looking for an explanation. He gave her a small half-smile as he returned her gaze affectionately.

"That I loved you," he said simply.

Rachel couldn't help it, her heart started racing a million miles per minute and she wouldn't have been surprised if a choir of angels had broken out in song behind her because he just said that he _loved_ her. Still – after all this time.

He went on. "And I would've done or given anything to kiss you one more time…" He licked his lips as he dropped his gaze to Rachel's mouth, only for a second.

Rachel tried to get a grip and back up a bit. Maybe he didn't want to be in a relationship with her just yet. After all, he'd barely broken up with Quinn a week ago…maybe they were just moving too fast and he needed a breather. But the way they'd been connecting lately…there was something there, wasn't there?

She nodded slowly as she said, "So you did. You know, you gave it all up for one kiss…"

_For me_, She added to herself. She took a deep breath before asking the question she'd been wanting to know ever since they'd kiss in New York.

"Was is worth it?" she whispered.

They looked at each other for an immeasurable moment that seemed to stretch out forever as he considered her question seriously.

He smiled as he told her, "Yeah." He fiddled with the snow globe before asking her, "What about you? Was it worth it for you?"

She saw a flicker of worry in his eyes as she answered easily. "Yeah." She looked down at her own hands as her eyes began to tear up, "Because in my heart, I know we'll have another shot at nationals."

She turned back to Finn and said, "You have to know that I'm leaving, Finn." She went on passionately, "I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back."

She remembered standing on an actual stage on Broadway and climbing up the balcony as she sang. That's where she belonged – singing in front of thousands of people, singing to a sold out theater for people who showed up just for her. She could never achieve that here in Ohio. She wanted to let him know that she was serious about them going the distance. She wanted Finn to know what to expect, take it or leave it. Honestly, she was more prepared for him to tell her to forget the whole thing.

"Graduation's a year away…" he began, smiling slyly. "You got any plans 'til then?"

She smiled up at him as he let the snow globe roll away and reached out a hand to gently cup her face. His lips were soft against hers as she let out a soft sigh in his mouth. She moved her hand to cover his as he continued kissing her gently. She could hardly believe this was happening. Finn loved her. And he wanted to be with her. She moved her other hand to trace down the front of his shirt as she grabbed the fabric, pulling him closer. He ran his hands through her hair and ran his tongue across her lip, causing her breath to hitch.

She didn't want to stop, but she pulled away slowly, already missing the feeling of his lips on hers. She laughed and laced her hands in his. She kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly before kissing his lips one more time.

"I love you, Finn," she said, "And I never stopped…I tried to, but I just never could I guess."

He squeezed her tiny hands enveloped in his large ones.

"Rachel, I could never stop loving you no matter how much I wanted to."

Rachel got up excitedly and extended her hand out to Finn once more.

"Okay, let's go," she said giddily.

Finn looked confused but took her hand and stood up anyways.

"Where are we going?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Final glee club meeting of the year!" she said excitedly.

She led him out of the aisle as he draped his arm around her shoulder. Rachel put her arm around Finn's waist as they walked down the hallway together again - just as they should be.

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><p><em>AN: Hooray Finchel!_

_**Review** for me, pretty please? (: I value your thoughts, dear readers!_


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